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I've just gotten into trouble. I don't know whether I should be writing this here but I can't stand it anymore. Maybe people don't even come to read my blog anyway.
But i don't feel the same way as what my teammates feel. I feel really bad. I cared. I felt horrible that whole Saturday. I couldn't do anything peacefully at all. My heart jumped out of my mouth every time I receive all those calls and smses. I didn't know what to do. I felt even worse when I found out that my squadmates had to be involved in this saga too. I knew that it was wrong. But i didn't do anything. I chose loyalty over righteousness. So there.
I agree with what yi'an said today, just like xunlin. I feel that it is only right to follow the rules and go thorugh the routine since i'm in a uniform group. I dont mind "sacrificing" myself for my squadmates. In fact, I don't find it a sacrifice at all. Although I seriously don't contribute alot, but I help whenever I can or needed. I'm not quitting sj. I don't mind sj. Whatever was said today didn't represent the whole team. We each have our own feelings or mindsets about this matter. For me, I know I did something wrong and I should face any punishments.
What's happened has already happened. I can't do anything now but accept the consequences with my team and squad. Which I feel really evil about 'cause my squad has to be implicated. And I didn't think of that at all. Although they say they don't mind, it's just not right. It wasn't their fault.
Everyone, I'm sorry.
